10 Things That Happen Each Time You Lie And Why You Should Never Tell Lies Again
In my last post, I wrote a fine piece on why you should not tell ‘The Truth’ and how telling ‘The Truth’ could destroy your relationship. Read the post now if you miss it.
Today, I’m asking you never to tell lies again. I’d tell you why shortly.
An intentionally false statement is a lie. It could come in the form of exaggeration or simply creating a false impression.
We often tell lies either to avert punishment, get a favour, paint a bigger image of who we are, or in order to get someone’s sympathy. Whatever the reason is, most people believe it is okay to tell lies, as long as they get away with them; especially the near truth, the white lie, and the better-left-unsaid.
Little relationship lies: A lady told me last week how she dumped her boyfriend. I asked why and she said; “He lies a lot. And he cheats, too.”
Little lies at the office: Workplace falsehoods, when verified, are misconducts. They can land you a query. Serious misconducts could lead to termination of service.
Lesson: Nobody truly accepts being lied to.
Last month I visited a friend whose wife just had a baby. And while we got talking, he was explaining some things to me, unconsciously; he made reference to an occurrence he once lied about. He contracted himself.
I had a business deal with someone and I paid him 70% upfront. Twice, he said his PC got crashed. Twice he had flu. And several other stories followed. 9 different times he promised he would deliver the job. One day [after several months] he told me he was done with it. Two weeks later, he said he couldn’t continue with the job and had to refund my money.
I immediately deleted him off my business contacts. More than that, I cannot recommend him to anyone anymore. He didn’t just lose me; he lost my network, too.
One thing I’ve seen over the years that destroys relationships and professional credibility are false statements. Oddly, people are so accustomed to lying that a study shows that, chances are high that people, in a 10 minutes conversation would lie, even to a total stranger.
10 Reasons You Should Stop Telling Lies
1. People can tell when you lie.
You might not believe it, it’s true, however. The reason is because you need a lot of coordination in order to tell lies. There are certain ways people behave when they lie, and spotting them is really easy.
A friend of mine has a friend who lies a lot. Each time she leaves, I’d tell my friend; “Your friend just lied to you.” And she would say; “I know. I just don’t like her to know I know.” It has happened severally.
Somehow, you just know someone is lying to you. Most times, though, you let down your guard, but your instinct always plays its role.
2. Lies form a pattern.
Do you know people who lie a lot tell the same lies repeatedly in different forms? Yes, because it makes sense to them. And they don’t think through when they do it.
Remember the guy I paid 70% upfront? His PC crashed twice. That made sense to him; at least, it would buy him some time. And I won’t expect my job without his PC.
They tell similar stories:
About being broke. Losing something or having some tough moments.
They always have flu
Her car is always bad
They always have network problem
They always cannot use their ATM card.
They are always busy.
He hangs with different ladies and says; ‘They are just friends.’
She’s always forgetting her appointments with you.
3. You need more lies to cover up a lie; you know that I’m sure.
A single lie will end up forming a complex network of lies. And before you realise it, it has gone beyond your control.
Most times, though, you just want to tell a ‘little’ lie, but it often doesn’t end up as little.
4. The truth always prevails.
You either contradict yourself someday or someone you lied to finds out the truth.
Most liars don’t always get away with it. Somehow, they eventually would get caught, especially in relationships.
5. You lose credibility.
Even a liar doesn’t like to deal with liars. People naturally would avoid you the moment they spot you telling repeated lies. And that’s enough to ruin your personal and professional life.
6. You surround yourself with like-minded people.
You attract people of your kind, that’s natural. And friends generally have a point of connection. Lies beget lies. And a liar only will find himself people of his kind.
When people understand you lie a lot, they also will start to tell you lies. Or, at least, tell you what you want to hear.
You simply reap what you sow, only in multiple folds.
7. People will begin to lose trust in you.
The human mind can only trust completely once, after which it begins to doubt.
It’s hard to fool a person twice. They won’t give you the privilege.
More than just losing trust in you, they will tell at least five other people who also will tell others. It will go on and on.
Imagine what will happen to your business or relationship in a short time.
8. It makes you feel empty.
There’s a level of fulfillment and happiness that comes with speaking the truth, even when it’s difficult.
Liars often feel empty, because the connection they have with people is false. They are not deeply connected to anyone or anything. And in life, the connection is everything. True happiness is hinged on how connected you are with the people around you.
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9. It destroys your health, gradually.
Lies keep you worried; especially when you tell professional lies or lies that could jeopardise your relationship bliss.
You would wonder if your client, boss or partner has found out the truth. You would suspect their moves and read meaning to their words. Your heart would race ceaselessly.
This could increase your stress level, hence, blood pressure. Worries could make you lose appetite. It could even make you have a headache.
This is bad for your health.
10. Your words would lose value.
The words of a liar are worthless. They can’t be accepted or acted upon. They can’t be trusted.
There are certain people you can’t lend your money. You have friends you can’t do business with. You have relatives whose motives and actions you question every time.
Sincerity, on one hand, brings respect and trust; this is the backbone of every relationship. Lies, on the other hand, bring distrust and irreparable relationships.
Where Do You Begin?
Life is not as complicated as you see it.
You might not have a handle on certain key things in your life. However, you can always take a step towards making things right. Little lies can become complex, so can a complex situation be resolved by little actions.
Tell the truth about your story.
Say exactly what happened. Say exactly how you feel. Let her know you don’t have enough money. Let him know you can’t do it. Tell your boss you made a mistake.
Apologise where you have to. Make amends when you need to.
No matter what, just tell the truth!
It will save you more troubles.
If you think you will be hated for telling the truth, trust me, you will be more hated for telling lies. It is always better to err on the side of truth.
Don’t make people happy by telling them lies. Hurt them with the truth and let them decide what to do with it. You will be loved for it, afterward.
Share Your Thought: Has lying ever landed you in a serious trouble? How did you manage it?
I spent a lot of time writing this post. Please share it with your friends if you find it helpful.