When we talk about love, different things come to mind – beautiful future, romantic partner, happiness, ecstasy, faithfulness, friendship, etc. While some people believe that true love is without a condition, others believe there is no love that is without a condition.

Serious-minded people [not players] go into relationships with the mindset of getting married. However, most relationships do not end in marriage. And some marriages just don’t worth it. The reason for failed relationships and marriages is not always the absence of love; sometimes, even true lovers fall out of love. How’s that possible, you probably would ask? I’ll talk about that shortly.

Love has its twists and dynamics. Every time love fails or whenever people fall out of love, it’s most likely that, along the line, they lost sight of certain understanding:

#1. Only God loves us unconditionally, not other humans. Be truthful to yourself, and you’d realise you’re in your relationship for certain reasons. You’d begin to have disputes with your lover when those motives are being contradicted. That explains why people could divorce and some parents disown their terrible children. Where is the unconditional love? It simply doesn’t exist amongst men!

Lesson: Your lover has expectations and your duty is to meet them! Whatever your lover fell in love with, tangible or intangible, you will do well by keeping your side of the deal.  When you begin to disappoint your lover, then…

#2. Love can die [when starved]. Just as you need food to stay alive, certain acts [love boosters] are similarly required to keep love alive. Love begins to die when those acts are absent in relationships. Download FREE and read, “7 Acts Of Great Relationships.” It’s a sure way to make relationships thrive. Love isn’t hard to find, keeping it afloat with passion is the puzzle which requires adequate knowledge. Being logical in relationships won’t work because relationships are absolutely emotional.

Lesson: It is what we do, not whom we found that matters in relationships. Right actions are required to make relationships and marriages go right. When we continue to do wrong [bad] things, then…

#3. People fall out of love. Being in a relationship doesn’t guarantee marriage and even marriage doesn’t guarantee a lasting union. Sometimes people fall out of love with certain persons and they fall in love with certain others. When you find love, it’s your responsibility to keep it. And if your lover falls out of love, it’s your fault, not your lover’s. If you meet your lover’s physical and emotional needs, they won’t have reasons to leave.

You can’t force people to continue to love you when you continue to do wrong things. You can’t keep people to yourself, no matter how hard you try – once they are done with you, nothing can stop them from leaving.

Lesson: Personality attracts people; character keeps people. When people move close, only to discover you’re not who they perceive you to be, then…

#4. People change their minds. A lady once called to tell me how her boyfriend suddenly broke up with her and she was crying bitterly. She kept saying, “How can he leave me? But he said he loves me, how can he leave me?” Then at a point she asked, “What is he going to do now?” “He’s going to get someone else to love,” I told her.

Lesson: You must learn to love people distinctively. Study them, know what they want, then do it! In order to play smart, you need to understand that…

#5. A Relationship is dynamic and every relationship is unique. Everyone you date will produce different relationship dynamics. That explains why it’s needless to compare relationships. It also suggests that moving from one relationship to another might NOT be the solution to your relationship challenges; it could only mean “Different strokes from different folks.” 

Therefore, the solution to your relationship problem is not finding the right person [no such exists], but being the right person. That means the way you treat your lover, and not the other way round is what shapes your relationship. Patience, tolerance, understanding, forgiveness, compromise, etc. are important.

Lesson: Ultimately, you determine the outcome of your relationship/marriage. This is what I mean…

#6. Actions have consequences. What you reap is usually equal what you sow. Every wrong you do in your relationship isn’t going unnoticed. When your lover gets to his or her elastic limit, you’re going to pay for your wrongs.

So before you start lying, flirting, cheating, and before you become the ‘bad guy’…

Before you become unapologetic, selfish, arrogant, careless, proud, and unappreciative…

Before you begin to assault your lover and become carefree…

Remember he or she has not loved you to become miserable. Most importantly, remember your lover isn’t loving you unconditionally. If you push him or her too hard, you stand being dumped.

Be guided!

Leave a comment: Do you think love is really unconditional?

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