Anything can break if enough pressure is applied.  

Here’s how not to get broken by critiques.

In my last post I discussed 4 Facts You Should Know About Feedback And Why You Should Mind What People Say. I think you need to see that post first. Read it here now!

First, you need to understand there is a big difference between feedback and negative feedback. While the former leads to improved performance, the latter causes a decrease in function.

When I wrote my FREE book, 7 Acts of Great Relationships, [Download it here now. It’s still FREE!]. It had a lot of feedback. People mailed me, some called and others reached out to me on social media, they told me how fantastic the book is. They told me how it positively affected their relationships and how immensely the book imparted them. You know that feeling, I’m sure.

After some time, some people began to say heart breaking things like, “I don’t like the book”, “I don’t agree with you on xyz”, “I am disappointed at your assertions on abc”, “The book is a total crap!”  And other knife-cutting-statements.

I’m sure you’ve had to deal with such people at one time or another in your life. Some statements, if you’re not careful would make you question your art.

You Don’t Need Critiques.

Life is full of people who only have eyes for faults.

Funnily, such people would never start anything worthwhile like writing a book, starting a blog, owing a business or making a difference. They don’t even have the gut to try anything new on their own because they fear they are not good enough, yet, they are always the first to criticise anything! They have problems for every solution, imagine!

Those who spend their time looking for faults in others usually make no time to correct their own ~ Art Jonak

What You Need Is Feedback

There was a time something went wrong with my website. I didn’t know people were unable to Download My FREE Books. At other time, they were unable to Subscribe To My Newsletter! It was feedback that helped me. People reached out to me and I quickly fixed the problem.

Feedback is wonderful. Actually, you need it to stay alive. I ask my wife from time to time what she thinks about key areas of our life. I use her feedback to work on our relationship. I ask my newsletter subscribers what they’d like to know or read. I use their feedback to make more engaging posts. People give me feedback on what’s not working well on my website and I use the feedback to improve my website.

We all have blind spots and we need other people to help us see clearly.

However, do we really need heart breaking or derogatory feedback? Do we need faultfinders in our life? For example, do we need people to tell us they don’t like us or our art? Do we need people to tell us what we do is a total crap?

3 Simple Steps To Identify Negative Feedback

  1. The person

Who is giving you the feedback?

  1. A person who wants to help you improve your performance
  2. Someone you perceived wants to demoralise you.

2. The Motive

What does the person wants to achieve?

  1. The person wants to help you grow and be more productive
  2. The person is trying to kill your spirit or just want to embarrass you

3. The Result

What would the information do for you?

  1. It will give you insight on how to work smarter/achieve better results
  2. It will add nothing to you but suck out your positive energies.

You don’t need the Bs. Take note.

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3 Simple Ways To Respond To Negative Feedback.

  1. Ignore it.

If you have platforms where you interact with people every so often and you express yourself through your art, then you will meet folks who would drive you crazy with their words. I’ve had enough contacts with these people to know that one effective way to deal with them is just to IGNORE them. You know the maxim; silence is the best answer for a fool, right? It is apt here.

  1. Politely Tell Them It’s Not Needed.

People expect more from you the moment you step forward to be a leader, a voice or a difference maker. They expect you to have a higher level of thoughts, perspectives and ways of addressing life issues. And it’s not out of place.

Since I can’t yell, fight, say hurting or insulting words, I just say “It’s not needed!” When next someone gives you a negative feedback, just tell them it’s not needed! It means they don’t have to say it and you don’t need it.

  1. Politely Ask Them To Start Their Own Art.

It’s funny that I wrote a book and someone said he doesn’t like it, or that my work is a total crap. I mean, what am I supposed to say to him? How am I even supposed to respond to it?

I think it’s just best to acknowledge that he said he doesn’t like me or my book or my work, and then tell him to write his own book or start his own work of art.

Finally

It’s important to know that not everyone will like what you do. So, don’t wait for the world’s approval. Appreciate those who encourage you and make sure your work is not a crap! Feedback is a gift; accept it, but not when it’s negative, destructive or derogatory.

Leave a feedback: Have you ever had to deal with negative feedback in the past? How did it feel and how did you respond/react to it?

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