What People Think About You: 4 Facts You Should Know
The year is almost over. What more could anyone need than a brutal honest feedback? Well, not everyone likes it. It seems folks now preferred to be flattered than being told the truth about who they really are and why they are where they are.
Companies are paying heavily for it and smart people will do anything to get information on how the public feels about them. You know what they say, “You can’t beat the crowd.”
We are all stuck in the process of living and being ourselves and one thing that comes with this is that it impairs our objectivity about our own self. However, other people around us can see us more objectively, and hence, are in a good position to give us hints and pointers on how to do better. That process is called feedback. It is humanly hard to receive feedback when it is negative, as it deals a blow on our ego, but alas, feedback is sort of a mirror reflection. You might hate it, but that is just it as it is.
If you’d like to know a thing or two about why you are where you are and how to make next year your best year ever, below are four critical things you should know right now.
- Everything About Life Is Feedback Communication: When your car starts to sputter, it’s a feedback, telling you that your car might be due for maintenance. When you partner starts acting cold, it might just be feedback on how you’ve been handling your relationship. A protruding tommy is feedback on your diet and eating habit. A headache is a health feedback, an angry boss is a feedback on your performance and being broke is a feedback on your attitude to making money and managing same.
You get the gist? Great!
If you think the world is against you, think again! Maybe you are just the one against the world. Because…
- You Determine The Tone And Quality Of Feedback You Receive: Are you accessible? Can people tell you unpleasant truth without the risk of a backlash? Are you receptive or are you reactive to feedback? Do you take feedback too personal when it is negative? Do you see it as an attack on your person or as a process and pointer to a better you? If you must be better at managing feedback you have to learn to separate between yourself and your actions, so when you receive negative feedback it doesn’t sound to you as insult or judgment on your person.
Positive feedback rather than get into your head or lead you to settle in complacency, will just be a pointer to what you are doing and do more of it even better.
There was a story about a senior female military officer who after using the restroom mistakenly tucked her top into her underwear, as she moved around, her pants starts to show. No one could laugh for fear, at the same time no one could also tell her for fear of what her reaction might be. It wasn’t until she got home that the terrible blunder was pointed out to her. You can imagine her embarrassment.
Now, I need you to understand that…
- Not All Feedback Is Accurate: In certain cases you need to consider the source and the authority of the one giving you feedback. However, if you get the same feedback from several people, there might be some truth in it. As Jack Rosenblum says, “If one person tells you you’re a horse, they are crazy. If three people tell you you’re a horse, there’s conspiracy afoot. If ten people tell you you’re a horse; it’s time to go and buy a saddle.”
When it comes to accepting feedback you need to remember to keep your eyes on the ball. Be mindful that the purpose of feedback is to make you better. If you get confused, just ask yourself if you would rather be right or be happy. Many people prefer to be right than be happy and they soon end up not-right and not-happy.
Don’t try to prove you are right all the time; give the other person’s perspective a chance. Even if their assessment of you is wrong, there might still be valuable lessons to gain from their point of view. It’s what you do with the feedback that matters. Is it making you better or leaving you worse off?
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Now you want to know…
- Would People Naturally Give You Feedback: Hell no!
Don’t be deceived by smiles and nice compliments, it’s not always a true reflection of people’s disposition towards you. So you will need to ask and more importantly you need to create an atmosphere of trust that allows for truthful feedback. If you are not getting enough feedback, it’s probably because you have not been asking people around you to provide you with the needed feedback. It’s dangerous to think people will naturally want to give you feedback, so learn to consciously ask for it and ensure you surround yourself with people who can tell you the truth no matter how unpleasant it might sound.
You don’t want to miss my next post: How To [Effectively] Manage Negative Feedback Without Being Broken – Harnessing The Wisdom Of Critics And Becoming Your Best.
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Leave a feedback: Has there been a time you think a feedback would have helped your performance? Or, do you think feedback is generally cool?
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