I’ve been on the seat between lovers for many years. I’ve listened to different stories of hurt, jilt, heartbreak, lies, pretense, deceit, infidelity, etc. I’ve interviewed lovers and heard couples pass blames.

The truth is, most relationships, especially amongst young people is a mere game.

Yes, the game of emotion.

We act on emotions – love or anger, whatever it is, it’s all emotions. And master players have learned to manipulate people by using their emotions.

Either by force, plea or with tears, the method used is inconsequential. What’s important is getting results.

Have you met people who would cry at the slightest accusation or provocation? Did they always get what they wanted? Most likely, yes! They’ve mastered how to work on people’s emotions.

If you know how to use the right words and the right body language, you’d almost always have your way. Have you wondered why your lover is messing around and you still cannot issue a red card? Have you asked yourself what on God’s earth you’re still doing in that virus infected relationship? You are always hurt, never happy, yet you just can’t let go, why?

Either out of fear, crazy love, irrational thoughts, family pressure, societal demands, just name it, whatever it is. If it’s not right and you can’t let go, then you’re stuck somewhere in your mind.

Today, my focus is to help you understand signs that show you are being used in your relationship. How to handle such relationships is a topic for another day. For now, let’s figure out where you stand.

 Here’s what to consider:

#1. He or she’s always making demands on you and when you ask for a favour, you’d get sixty-two excuses. Symbiosis [interdependence] is the ideal relationship that exists between lovers. Where it becomes parasitic [opportunistic], then something is wrong. Lovers should go out of their way to please each other. It should not be a one-way game. You know that, right? Good!

#2. They always get angry when you’re unable to meet their demands, even though you’ve always met their demands in the past. Why should they? No matter how much you want to help, sometimes it just won’t happen. Not because you don’t want to help, but because of your limitations. At such points, your lover should understand. That’s the right thing, you know.

#3. Every time you meet, they want sex, turn them down and they will disconnect totally from you.  You understand that, right? They don’t have time to discuss other life issues, they are not even discussing marriage with you, it is sex, sex, and sex. Are you a sex toy? I’m sure you’re not.

#4. They’re always discussing their problems and how they need your help. They never discussed your challenges or how they would help you. It’s always about them. Don’t you also have challenges? Well, we all have.

#5. They don’t care about your happiness, as long as they are happy. Even when you talk about your challenges, they will merely say a few things and they will forget about it. They would neither ask how you’re going to solve your problems nor offer solutions. That’s not right, right?

#6. They only call to see you when they are bored, when they are sex starved, when they are broke, or when they need your advice. Anytime they call, you know they need something from you. Is that your definition of love?

#7. They keep you as an alternative. When they have issues with their real lover, they come to you as a substitute. When their main lover denies them sex, they call you. When their lover breaks up with them, they hang with you till they make up again. You sure need a real lover, right?

#8. They keep you and many others. You know they have multiple relationships, but they say you’re the best for them and you’re just cool. When you need them, you can’t see them – you call, they won’t pick. Send text messages, they won’t reply. Ping, they will read and won’t reply. I’m not sure that’s alright, do you think otherwise?

#9. They don’t give a damn about you – they don’t care about how you feel, what you think and what you would do. They don’t care if you stay or leave. They don’t care if you’re angry or happy. They never say sorry and they never bring issues up to resolve with you. You always have to beg to resolve issues with them, even when they hurt you. To what end? How long will you do it?

#10. They mostly force you to do things against your wishes. They break every of your rules and would not break one of their rules for you. They get angry when you maintain your ground on key issues, and they don’t feel anything wrong when they don’t bend their own rules. They even threaten to break up once you don’t take orders from them. Are you a slave or a lover?

I just showed you ten things. Did you see them?

I’m sure you don’t want to be used or abused; you want to be loved. You want to be happy and you want to live long after marriage. Do yourself a favour by doing it right.

It’s better to be single than stay married to the wrong person. Your love life defines other areas of your life. It can even predict if you’d live long or die early. Don’t get entangled with the wrong person because you can’t change anybody, you simply do not have that power.

What if you don’t know what to do? You always can seek help. That’s what we do at Icon Global Network. You can chat directly with me on BBM or send an e-mail to admin@iconglobalnetwork.com or you just use the “Contact Us” form on the home page. And what if you just don’t care? Well, actions have consequences.

Be guided!

Leave a comment: How do you handle parasitic relationships?

Sharing is caring! Please share with your friends.