This piece is a selection from my latest book on Emotional Mastery. It will come out soon.

I see a lot of people share and exchange negative emotions everyday. I know people are not really trained to handle emotions, that’s the reason we see folks burst and burn with negative energies, which is very dangerous to their health.

Emotional Mismanagement Is The World’s Greatest Problem:

You hear of bosses assaulting their subordinates.

You hear of women exchanging embarrassing words with their husbands.

You hear of men beating up their wives.

You see people getting angry unnecessarily and uncontrollably.

You see people finding it hard to let go of their hurts, pain and past.

Look, when emotions go wrong, things could get very bad. The reason we have a lot of people with bad relationships and marriages is largely due to someone’s inability to manage his or her emotions.

Let’s Quickly Analyse Your Emotional Grade Level

A few questions will assess your Emotional Grade Level and tell you how well you’re doing with your emotions.

#1. At times I don’t understand my feelings. I don’t know how to interpret my emotions.

a. Very much like me                   b. Not at all like me                     

#2. I find it hard to forgive those who hurt me.

a. Very much like me                   b. Not at all like me         

#3. I find it hard to say I am sorry.

a. Very much like me                   b. Not at all like me         

#4. Sometimes I feel depressed without knowing the cause.

a. Very much like me                   b. Not at all like me         

#5. I often regret some of my actions when I get angry.

a. Very much like me                   b. Not at all like me         

#6. I know I need help with my emotions but I’m clueless about what to do.

a. Very much like me                   b. Not at all like me         


Emotional instability is enough to ruin anyone’s life. People with negative energies or emotional imbalance often have problem relating with others. They have unstable relationships. They feel lonely because they can’t connect with those around and are often depressed.

If you answer “Very much like me” to any of the questions above, then, you’re not doing well with your emotions. In fact, you should get professional help because you are only setting a trap for yourself.

Your Drive Is Your Emotion

The ultimate force of life is the invisible force of emotion! Your emotion puts you in and out of motion. It suggests that your actions are ultimately the products of your feelings.

I’ve met complete strangers – people I never knew and in less than 20 minutes became my friends. They were willing to support me and even give me their hard earned money. I’ve met ladies and won their trust in less than 15 minutes, maybe their love too. But, they were willing to know me, be with me, and support me in whichever way they could. They told me I’m amazing and it feels like they’ve known me for long.

I’ve helped people who have phobia for certain things – things they dread so much and would not even dare attempt [like sleeping alone, being in the dark, phobia for snakes and scorpion, phobia for love and marriage, phobia for public speaking, etc.]. But after their sessions, their phobia was knocked out completely.

Why did I say those?

Because I need you to understand that if you are able to create certain feelings in people, if you’re able to make them begin to doubt and question their beliefs, you can almost always have your way. I am not speaking of being manipulative, but in general term; we act our feelings – whether positive or negative and it doesn’t matter how they are created.

Emotion And Beliefs

Certain emotions are attached to certain beliefs [whether limiting or not]. For example, I’ve met ladies who were jilted so much that they began to doubt the fact that they could find true love. Whenever anyone says “I love you,” the feeling of their past hurts is immediately aroused. Their memory comes alive and they’d imagine history repeating itself. And out of fear and doubt, they never wanted to have relationships again.

You see, beliefs are stored with emotion. Emotions drive beliefs and beliefs form the basis of our actions. Let me try to explain this by giving you another example.

A beautiful lady I met some time ago was suffering from low self-esteem. Everyone knew she was beautiful except the lady. Everyone knew she was smart but she never saw herself as being smart. Her life was in a big mess. Then I started a private session with her.

After a couple of questions, I learned her mum used to call her ugly and stupid as a child. Her mum neither appreciated her efforts nor praised her for anything. And you know; she simply grew with the consciousness that she was ugly and stupid [at least, it’s easy to believe mummy’s remarks]. It affected her performance and relationships negatively.

Why would people hold on to things that were said to them many years ago? How do we form opinions and beliefs? How do we accept certain things as being true?

You were told it’s due to repeated occurrences. But it’s not the ultimate truth. Your core beliefs are formed by emotions, and anything that is not attached to emotions would not stay in your subconscious mind.  You only remember two things – things that make you very happy, and things that take away your happiness.  The things in between really don’t matter.

Why People Are Not Scared Of Threats And Consequences

I’ve advised people on their food patterns because it affects their health. For example, I have advised people to stop the consumption of certain foods, and start the intake of certain others because they affect their sperm count. But these people would not even stay on their new food board for one month.

You want to know why it’s difficult.

Because what drives people is how they feel, not what is good or bad for them.

 I’ve counselled young ladies and guys who often have unprotected sex with several partners. But they know HIV/AIDS exist. They also know it has no cure.

People are not really scared of consequences, as long as those consequences cannot suppress their emotions. In other words, people are actually driven by their emotions, not the consequences of their actions.

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Your Life Evolves From Emotions

If you want to know why your life is the way it is, then you must first understand the emotions that drive your life.

One minute you’re in love with someone you find charming and attractive. The following month you’re completely out of contact with the same person. What has changed is emotion.

One minute you’re highly motivated to get something done, the next minute you feel completely different about it. One minute you’re happy, the next minute you go cold, feeling completely unhappy. It’s all due to emotions.

The Wonder Of Emotions

You have the power to determine your emotional wiring per time. You can determine how you feel and what you do. Whatever feeling you have is what you have accepted and allowed to run your mind. Happiness is a choice. Sadness is a choice. Anger is a choice, and so is forgiveness.

Don’t Miss This!

Your actions are driven by your thoughts. And your thoughts are driven by what your focus is on. So, even when something unpleasant is happening to you or around you, you can feel good if you give it a positive meaning. And it will be evident in your action.

Two Key Lessons You Must Never Forget

Focus on the positive side of everything. Give positive reasons and meaning to unpleasant situations. It won’t come easily, but, if you do this, you will have a great relationship and a happy life.

Whatever you focus on, you feel! And whatever you feel is what you act!

Another thing of note, which drives your emotions are your words. Words are powerful, so much that they change your feelings the instant you say or hear them. positive words drive your life positively because they release positive energies.

One Way To Put Your Emotions Under Control

 Visualise The End Of Everything

Do you have issues with your boss? Is your lover crossing the line? Are you angry with a friend or relative? Whatever it is, have the end in mind.

What will you like people to say about you? Who do you want them to see you as? How will the relationship between you and your offender be afterwards? Conflicts would be resolved, but hurtful words and belittling actions cannot be reversed.

Tough moments don’t last forever – whatever they are. There’s an end to everything, never forget that. A little patient is all you need. And when you want to give up, think of how much patient you’ve had. It will keep you going.

How To Buoy Your Emotion

Listen to electrifying words [from friends, messages, books, music, videos, etc.].

What is so special about words? They drive your essence! The right words at the right time could make you feel 3 times taller than you really are; they could cause a chain reaction that would activate your innate abilities. They could activate your ingenuity and set you apart forever! They could make you doubt your weakness, so much that you’d begin to ignore them. They could make you believe in yourself, so much that you’d attempt things you naturally would not dare.

The power of words cannot be over stressed.

As matter of fact, you are formed by what you hear. And ultimately, your life would move in the direction of your dominant words.

If you want to lift your spirit, then you must speak and listen to great words. How often should you do this? As often as you eat! Good words are to your spirit what good foods are to your body.

I hope you get my points?

If you need my help in any way, don’t hesitate to reach out to me.

Speak Your Mind: How Do You Respond To Negative Emotions?

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